Some Short Funny Quotes for you:

" Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives."




"It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats."




"I must confess, I was born at a very early age."




"I really didn't say everything I said."




" If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment."






"If you ask me a question I don't know, I'm not going to answer."




"It ain't the heat; it's the humility."




"It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living."




"The only reason I need these gloves is 'cause of my hands."




"You can't think and hit at the same time."




"If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be."




"If I didn't wake up, I'd still be sleeping."




"The other teams could make trouble for us if they win."




"I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early."




"LAWYERS - CRIMINALS I FORGET THE DIFFERENCE"




"Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it."




"Well, at least the war on the environment is going well."




"Jesus loves me, this I know - that is why I don't drive slow!"




"Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool."




"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason"




"Without geometry, life is pointless."




"Work, yeah I tried that once. Worst 7 minutes of my life."




" If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"






"For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain."






" Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference."




"Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?"